सितमगर

हर रात सोचता है दिल सिर्फ़ तुम्ही को..
है तो मेरा पर मुझपे ही सितम करता है..
©सार्थक सागर

पागल

वह प्यार में है या पागल है..
या प्यार में पागल है..
कोई इस दुनिया में तन्हा सा..
प्यार को पागल है..
बंद कमरे में बैठा तलाशता है उसको..
सब कहते हैं पागल है..
©सार्थक सागर

पुराने पन्ने

वक़्त पुराने पन्ने पलट रहा था, वह पन्ने जो कहीं दबा आया था मैं | कहीं दूर मुझसे, ऐसी जगह जो मुझे भी याद ना रह सके| पर ये वक़्त भी ना बड़ा आवारा होता है, किसी का नहीं होता, ना तुम्हारा ना मेरा, सो मैं भी वक़्त की आवारगी का मंज़र खामोश देख रहा था. एक एक कर सारे पन्ने तो पलट डाले थे उसने|
वह पहला पन्ना जब मुझे लगा था की मेरा कुछ छूट रहा है जब मैं गर्मी की छुट्टी में घर जाने वाला था| या वह पन्ना जिस पल मुझे लगा की मैं तुमसे प्यार करने लगा था| कितनी मुश्क़िल से कह पाया था मैं तुम्हें| फिर पूरी शाम समंदर किनारे बैठ के सोचता रहा की क्या होगा तुम्हारा जवाब|
एक पन्ना और था मेरे गुमान का जब मुझे लगता था मुझे प्यार नहीं हो सकता, फिर तुम आई और मेरा दिल मुट्ठी में भरे रेत सा फिसलता चला गया| रंग बिरंगे खुशियों के पन्ने, साथ खिलखिला रहे थे अभी भी| मानो हम तुम कहीं पहाड़ों में बैठे हँस रहे हों, एक दूसरे की बाहों में| 
कुछ आँसुओं से गीले हुए पन्ने भी थे, हर उस पल का हिसाब रखे जब हमारे आँसू साथ निकल पड़ते थे एक दूसरे के दर्द में| मोहब्बत से भीगे पन्ने थे वे| प्यार की भीनी खुशबू लिए बिल्कुल वैसी जैसे सूखी मिट्टी को बारिश मिल गई हो|
फिर वक़्त ले आया वो काले पन्ने जो मैं नहीं देखना चाहता था, पर वक़्त के आगे किसकी चलती है| कितना डरा रहे थे मुझे वे काले स्याह पन्ने| उस शाम की पूरी दास्तान थी उसमें जब हम तुम जुदा हुए थे| कुछ ग़लतियाँ और कुछ ग़लतफहमिों ने मिल के प्यार को ज़हर दे डाला था| प्यार सो चुका था गहरी नींद में|
आख़िरी पन्ना मेरे आँसुओं से चिपक के बैठ गया मेरे चेहरे पे| कितना हठी था वह| बिल्कुल मुझसा| सच का पन्ना, यथार्थ का व्याख्यान करता हुआ| कह रहा था के मेरे दिल में अभी भी तुम हो, पर तुम्हारे दिल में मैं हूँ या नहीं पता नही| 
एक अंतिम बात लिखी थी के मैं और तुम अब हम नहीं थे| यही सच था, वह सच जिसे मैं आज तक नहीं क़ुबूल कर पाया था और शायद कभी कर भी नहीं पाऊँगा|

©सार्थक सागर

याद रोग

कुछ रोग लाइलाज़ ही बेहतर हैं, उन्हें रहने दो..
उनकी यादों के रोग का इलाज़ ना निकालो..
©सार्थक सागर

आँखें शराबी

आज कल हर नाम में तेरा नाम नज़र आता है..
शायद मेरी आँखें भी मेरी तरह शराब पीती हैं..
© सार्थक सागर

कोई साथी

सब क्यों कर दूं कोरे काग़ज़ के हवाले..
कुछ ग़म दिल के साथ भी छोड़ आया हूँ..
मेरे छूटा सो छूटा उसका कोई साथी तो हो,,
© सार्थक सागर

Confessions of tearless eyes

Don’t think that I forgot to carry my tear glands with me when I came to earth. I carried all my stuffs with me including my expressions. I was born completely normal painted in dark brown color. I showed tears when my master cried, I expressed happiness when he was happy. Things were very beautiful and I was happy living with him. But nothing is permanent in this world so was my happiness. Things started to change when he grew old, I was ordered not to show any tears. I had to follow him after all he is my master and I was his loyal part.

It was a winter evening, fog started to cover the valley in her arms. My master and his dad along with some family members were returning home after attending a marriage. Suddenly the car hit an ambassador and before the driver could control it again hit the boundary of the bridge. There was darkness complete darkness in front of me. After few seconds some amount of light entered me and what I saw was blood, blood all over my master’s hand. I wanted to cry out of pain but I didn’t because I didn’t want my master’s father to become weak.

I wanted to shed tears when his mother wept while he was leaving his home for his studies. He left his home with a heavy heart but kept all his grief inside.

The day his cousin brother died, I was almost on the verge of meeting my companion “tears” but he was thinking if he cried he will not be able to support his family. They will become weak. Being part of a responsible son, I didn’t cry that day too.

I remember the dark evening when the two souls parted. Yes, my master and his beloved broke up. The face which made me smile, the first face which I saw every morning in his phone, the face which was a source of immense pleasure for me was leaving. Tears came, finally they came, and I was sinking in tears. A drop came out from me, I wanted to cry more, just down there on the road or may be in her lap, I wanted to tell her I can’t live without her, everything other than her face seemed useless, colorless to me. It was her who made me recognize colors of life, without her I was color blind. This was the last time me and my tears met.

Emotionless, stone heart and so many other adjectives people use for him but I want to tell them all, no, he is not emotionless. He has a heart, a heart which feels everything, love and pain, sorrow and happiness. He doesn’t show his emotions that doesn’t make him emotionless. I feel so bad for him, I know who he is and what he feels.

I am tired of hiding my tears, I can’t live with a heavy heart anymore. I can’t tolerate people calling him emotionless. I just want to shed tears, show the world that he is in pain. I want to cry on her beloved’s shoulder. He makes the tears evaporate and leaves the salt deposited within me. Someone tell him the salt irritates me. I want to mix them in tears again and shed them all. I want to be like my friend reflex “Free”.

Just tell him I want to be free, tell him not to control me anymore

© Sarthak Sagar

प्यार क्या ख़त्म होता है

खुश चेहरे के अंदर भी कुछ ग़म होता है..
दोपहर का सूखा रेत भी भीतर नम होता है..
लोग रिश्ते तोड़ते हैं कहकर मोहब्बत नहीं रही..
प्यार क्या छोड़े जाने से ख़त्म होता है..
© सार्थक सागर

राख मैं

तेरी रुख्सत से मिल गया है सब ख़ाक में..
राख पन्ने राख आँसू राख दिल और राख मैं..
© सार्थक सागर

Childhood- A free bird

Sun was going down and we were unwilling to go back to home, after all it was summer vacation and I was at my grandmother’s place, miles away from crowd of city. Finally the call came, my grandfather was calling us to come back. While returning we saw some parrots flying around the banyan tree, it seemed unusual, so we decided to go there. There was a baby parrot down near the roots of tree. We became very excited and took it to our home. To keep him alive my granny took so many efforts, fed him milk using cotton, kept him warm, the entire concentration was on him after all he was a family member now.

Time passed, we grew older and so did our mitthu (my parrot). We kept him in cage, no don’t get it wrong, we never wanted to captivate him, this was done just to protect him from cats. One morning when granny woke up, and went to feed him as daily routine she saw him missing from the cage. She searched for him and he was found in our courtyard. He didn’t fly, he never learnt how to fly. He never had a free childhood, he was never guided by his parents, and his childhood went in cage. Although we taught him how to talk but never taught him how to fly, how to explore the sky, because we were unable to.

The same thing will happen if we keep the childhood caged. It is like a bird which must be left free, free to laugh, free to enjoy, free to explore, the only thing its needs a little guidance, Just like bird who needs guidance to learn flying. Birds never tell their children the limit then why us. Childhood is like flowing water, let it flow, if you will try to make it stagnant for sure it will lose its purity, its speed, and in long run everything. It will be better to go with the flow, you may learn many new things. The only thing you need is to tell the flowing water (your child) is how to tackle obstacles which come in between without losing his faith. You guide him with your experience and in return he will show you a new world which he has in his heart. Let him dream, answer all his questions no matter how silly they are. Give him opportunity to do what he wishes to, be with him as a guide but never say “no, you can’t you are too young to do this”.

Let me narrate you a small story again. While trying to make first cup of tea in my life, I burnt my hand. I was in class 4 then. When my mother returned from office I was very terrified that she will scold me for going in kitchen in her absence but somehow I grabbed courage and went to her and told her everything. The reply which I got made me strong. “Beta hands getting burnt is a part of cooking, don’t worry about that. It is good that you tried. Come with me I will show you how to make tea properly.” If she wouldn’t have supported me then, I would never have learnt how to cook.

The only thing which I would like to say is be your child’s friend, he will open up to you and will share his feelings. If you try to instruct him or order him he will never open up to you. If you want the flow to go smooth without obstacles be its supporter. Let childhood be free.

                                         Free Bird

Don’t build dams, let the river flow.

Let the breeze of childhood blow.

Move along with its pace.

It will bring smile on your face.

Let him grow with freedom of mind.

Don’t be strict be a little kind.

Childhood has its own grace.

Let him grow slow,childhood is not a race

Stay fit with Honey

When the world is revolving around fast foods, pizza, and burger who has a time to go for balanced diet. It’s the present scenario. Most of the people are eating unhealthy stuffs and as a result their body is becoming shelter for diseases. Have you ever thought what are we doing? We are paying money to each such stuffs and again paying to cure problems caused by them. I have seen people talking about balanced diet but the thing is do we follow? Is this situation caused by lack of time, I guess no, it is caused only due to our attitude.

Eat it once buddy, eating a single burger will not make you fat, people say like that, but when this single burger becomes a fellow of your life you never know. I was also not different until I started going to gym. Earlier I used to skip my meals and in evening will end up having something which was unhealthy. This killed my appetite and I became weak. I felt tired while doing small workouts. When this continued I finally decided to stop eating such stuffs. I started eating properly and avoided unhealthy food. The result was visible in few weeks. The feeling of tiredness was gone, I started getting proper sleep and my appetite also became normal. A balanced diet keeps you fit. My lifestyle became healthy and I got my adequate weight in few months and most important part was I felt less stressed and more peaceful and happy.

Taking you to a different instance which happened few months ago with me. I visited my friend pooh, no it is not his real name but since he was chubby in school we used to call him by this name. I was startled he looked so weak although he had lost some weight but I felt like he was ill.

“Hey, pooh what happened? You look so weak.”

“Buddy, I am on a crash diet”

I started laughing at his words, I got the reason why he was looking so dull. He has reduced his food intake to a minimal level following some fellow who told him to do so. I have never seen him getting irritated but today when I laughed he seemed a bit annoyed.

“Brother, please follow my advice once and drop this idea of crash diet, I said.”

“Then what shall I do?”

“We call you pooh right, then why don’t you do what pooh does. Just stop your sugar intake and use honey instead. Make your calorie chart and eat as much you require. Also start your day with honey mixed with Luke warm water and lemon juice. It will help you for sure, trust me.”

I came back in few days, later after some weeks he called me up and said he was feeling healthy and he started losing weight. I will say to you all lose weight but don’t follow unhealthy ideas.

Do we forget our childhood buddies, no right then why forget honey which was a part and parcel of our childhood. Add some more sweetness in your life with Dabur honey. Be healthy after all path of heart goes through stomach.

आओ कुछ यूँ मिलें

आओ कुछ यूँ मिलें के जैसे मिलता है काग़ज़ रोशनाई से..
दिल में रहते हो तुम हमें डर नही लगता जुदाई से..

©सार्थक सागर

दिनों बाद लौटा हूँ

कोरे पन्ने खुली कलम इंतज़ार में थे..
बहुत दिनों बाद लौटा हूँ अपने दर पे..
© सार्थक सागर

पहचान शायर की

जान लेना मुझे पूरा का पूरा तुम..
जब मिलूँगा किसी पन्ने पे शायरी बनकर..

आख़री शायरी में तुझे खुदा लिखूंगा

जो ख़त्म हो जाएगा दर्द-ए-मोहब्बत तो क्या लिखूंगा..
वह दिन आख़िरी होगा,आख़री शायरी में तुझे खुदा लिखूंगा..
©सार्थक सागर

Pros and cons of traveling with couple

Do you love traveling, if yes with whom, alone, with family, with friends? You must be wondering why I am asking this stupid question. Let me tell you, I asked this because everyone has their own way of traveling, some travel in groups and some alone but have you ever been on a trip when you are the only person who is “SINGLE” in group. Sounds a bit strange, right but its traveling buddy, who knows which place you will visit next and with what kind of partners.

So, life gave me an opportunity to travel with my friends, let me elaborate total four in short two couples. This was the first time I was traveling with couples. Although the trip was nice but I want to share some things which were irritating at times and few which were good. Keeping it short and simple I want to share the pros and cons of traveling with couples.

Things you may like:-

· You don’t have to worry about tickets and they will always make sure the journey is comfortable.

· Hotel bookings- you hardly have to bother about that.

· Best places to visit- couples have it stored in their database long before the trip.

· You will get the best food at best restaurants, who goes with their girlfriend to a roadside ugly looking dhaba (small roadside restaurant).

· Most of the times they will pay your expenses too- one single “Free” with a couple.

· You can show your photography skills because most of the time you will be the one behind the camera.

· You can learn romance from them.

· You will be safe and will hardly get tired –no roaming around at night and who gets tired when you will be traveling by cab all the time.

· Last but not the least- you will get some free time for yourself while they are busy with each other.

Things that may irritate you at times:-

· Do you love exploring? Forget that before starting your trip else you will be disappointed. Most of the couple’s visit places which are already listed down.

· Adventure- which bird is that? They hardly try adventure.

· You will have to miss the local food and drinks.

· At times you may feel alone.

· Mingling with local people- this you can do only if you travel alone.

· Wandering at night- you don’t want to make your buddies feel bad right, then drop this idea.

· You want to plan an instant trip after one, you can’t, because you are with couples so you need to plan the trip properly.

· Your camera will be full of pictures but most of the pictures will be of your travel partners posing in one or other way.

· It will more be like honeymoon trip with yourself- you will visit places like tourists.

· Drink less, smoke least (if you drink and smoke) is the mantra you have to follow.
· So, if by chance you are travelling with couples only, pack the traveler which is within you and be ready for the next trip “ALONE”

अकेले क्या मैं ही बोलूं..

आज कहने को कुछ नहीं अब..

हर दिन अकेले में क्या मैं ही बोलूं..

©सार्थक सागर

इश्क़ गिरा सिरहाने से

आह गहरी पर आहट नहीं..

इश्क़ गिरा था सिरहाने से..

आधी रात तुम याद आए..

चाहे दर्द के ही बहाने से..

© सार्थक सागर

ख़त

नहीं पढ़ते आज कल वो ख़त मेरे..
डर है मेरे लफ्ज़ उनके लब ना छू लें..
© सार्थक सागर

Our room

wrong number: Our room
Medium- gel pen on paper

This room is no...:

मेरे लम्हे मेरे पराए

बीते लम्हें बंद हैं शीशे के बक्सों में..
लिखा है बाहर कोई "हाथ ना लगाए"..
कैसी करवट लेती है जिंदगी भी..
कल के अपने लम्हे आज मेरे ही पराए..
©सार्थक सागर

हल्की नमकीन चाय

दो प्याली चाय और मैं..
अक्सर बाल्कनी में साथ होते हैं..
एक चाय तेरे लब के नाम..
एक मेरे होठों के..
साथ खाली कुर्सी और कुछ यादें..
पहले अपनी चाय पीता हूँ फिर तुम्हारी..
हल्की नमकीन हो जाती है..
चाय तुम्हारे नाम की..
चंद कतरे आँसू,चुटकी भर याद,कुछ धुंधले पल.. 
मिल जो जाते हैं तुम्हारी चाय में..
फिर घंटों असर करती है दिल-ओ दिमाग़ पर..
वह हल्की नमकीन चाय..
©सार्थक सागर

मेरा घर भी किराए का लगता है

सुलाया नहीं अरसे से गोद में अपनी..
अपना बिस्तर पराए सा लगता है..
तेरी यादों के छाप हैं हरेक दीवार पर..
मेरा घर भी मुझे किराए का लगता है.. 
© सार्थक सागर

"Woman" who never gave up.

Time flies and every one grows older with its flight. When hair becomes grey with experience and age and hands start shaking,  everyone needs support. In the race of life we often forget those people who taught us how to run. They are neglected and left off like rag. Here is a story of a woman who kept struggling whole life but never gave up.

It was Sunday evening, I along with my friends went for having a cup of tea. When you have exams chai-sutta break becomes an important part of your daily routine.  We ordered three tea and three kings (cigarette). An old lady almost 70 years old brought tea for us with her trembling hands and kept on the table. We started making plans how to finish the entire syllabus in one night.

We finished our tea and one of my friend went for the payment. The lady came to us and started lifting the cups, we told her to stop and kept the cups back. “These cups give me food son” she said. We were a bit surprised by her words. Her English was fluent. She stood beside and asked about us. We replied, and suddenly out of curiosity I asked her “How you speak English so fluently?” The story which she told left us in a shock.

“I worked as a nurse in a private hospital in Chennai (she didn’t reveal the hospital’s name). My husband died when I was young and left me with my son and daughter. I worked throughout my life to make my children’s career.”

“Where are they now?” I asked.

“I don’t have any idea” she replied.

“After completing his studies my son wanted to go to London for higher studies. I sold all my assets which I had including my jewelries and a small house to fulfill his dream. He went away for his studies meanwhile my daughter got married to the man of her choice and I was left alone with nothing accept my job.”

“Then?” I asked. All of us were curious to know about her.

“I retired from my job. My son once came from London just to keep me in an old age home but I refused to live there. He went back. My daughter never came to me after getting married. Now I work as a maid in morning time and from afternoon I wash cups and dishes in this shop to feed myself thrice a day.”

There was pain in her eyes but no tears. For whom will she cry, she had no one in this world.

We said good bye to her but she told us to wait and said “Don’t smoke, I have seen so many lives destroyed by it. Leave smoking and please don’t leave your parents ever. Good night.”

We wished her goodnight and came back with lot of respect for her.

                                                                                                           ©Sarthak Sagar

Heart connection

She loves you even in her scolding, she cares for you even more when she says “go, do whatever you want”, a small injury which might not even pain can bring out the precious jewels of her eyes, she weeps when you leave her for studies or anything, her blessings protect you from all your dangers when you are not with her, all these traits can be find only in one person “Mother”. God blesses everyone with one wealth “Mom’s Love”. Every second we spend with her is better than heaven or better I say heaven is in mother’s lap.

Although it’s impossible to write about her love and care which she poured on me, I am still trying to recollect some of the “Pearls from the bag of past”.

 My Savior

It was a rainy Sunday morning and I was happy as there was no school. I woke up and was watching rain drops trickling down from my window. When the rain stopped I heard crows cawing on the terrace. You will think what’s so special in it, there is nothing special but the thing is I used to feed crows chapattis every morning and today due to rain I forgot to feed them so they were calling me. Feeding them made me feel happy. I rushed straight to kitchen and took the chapatti. It was drizzling again so I thought I won’t go upstairs but will throw chapatti from stairs. I tried to throw but it fell. In a hurry I tried to descend the stairs in order to protect chapatti from getting wet but something else was there for me in attempt to lift chapatti up fast I slipped from stairs and rolled down. There was blood everywhere oozing out from my cut forehead. I screamed for my mom. She came running to me and wiped the blood with her sari. She tied my wound with bandage.

    There was no one in house except her and since we lived in a small town it was difficult to find any transport in such a rain. Without thinking for a second she lifted me up, covered me with one end of her sari and rushed to the clinic. I allowed the nurse to start stitching only when he promised that my mom will stay with me inside. I got four stitches with my mother sitting beside me and wiping my tears. Only thing which I asked her after stitch and bandage was “Mom am I looking ugly?” She kissed my forehead and I got my answer.

Heart Connection

One evening after college I went to restaurant with my beloved and I was telling her about my sweater which was hand knitted by my mom when I was 3 years old with “I L U” written on it. When I wore that in childhood I proudly told everyone “I L U” means I love you. As soon as I ended my conversation I got a call from my mother and her first words were “I just took out your sweater which had “I L U” written on it to check whether it is safe or not”. These words left me thinking which connection connected her and me. I guess it was “HEART CONNECTION".

शायरी-शराब

वह मदमस्त था ख़ुद के लिखे मिसरे पढ़कर..
सच ही किसी शायर ने शायरी को शराब लिखा है..
© सार्थक सागर

पहली मुलाक़ात का दिन

कुछ आँसू के कतरे फिर निकलेंगे आँखों की खिड़कियों से..
तुम नहीं आती कम्बख़्त पहली मुलाक़ात का दिन आ जाता है..
©सार्थक सागर

इंतज़ार तेरा

हर लम्हा मेरे मुक़द्दर ने फ़ासले बाँटे..
हर वक़्त हम तेरे मिलने की आस करते रहे..
तस्वीर जिसे आधी खिंचवाई थी तुमने..
उसी आधे में हम अपना आधा तलाश करते रहे..
वह पल जब आख़िरी बार तेरे माथे को चूमा था..
उस प्रेम गंगा का हर क्षण एहसास करते रहे..
इंतज़ार के घर में याद का कमरा लिया किराए पे..
दर्द के सिरहाने पे ज़िंदगी और ख़ास करते रहे..
ज़िंदगी लगी कुछ ज़्यादा ही लंबी तुम बिन..
ख़ुद राख होने को कुछ राख करते रहे..
©सार्थक सागर

हाँ हम लिखते हैं |

हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..
कुछ अधूरी साँसें कुछ अधूरी आरज़ू..
कुछ अटखेलियाँ आँखों की उनके..
चुनते हैं जीवन वृक्ष से यादों के तिनके..
आँसू मिलाकर कभी स्याही बनाते हैं..
फिर हंसकर सब कुछ तो लिख जाते हैं..
जिनकी रूह ज़ज़्बातों की जिस्म अल्फाज़ों का..
एक शहर है काग़ज़ पर ऐसे इंसानो का..
बहा देते हैं सब ना कुछ करते काबू..
हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..

©सार्थक सागर

हाँ हम लिखते हैं|

लोग कहते हैं के हम “लिखते हैं”| हमें शायर, कवि, लेखक और ना जाने क्या क्या नाम दे डालें हैं लोगों ने| अलग कर दिया है नाम की दीवारों से. लेकिन हम एक ही तो हैं, सरफिरे से, थोड़े पागल,शब्दों के दोस्त,काग़ज़ के यार|
ना जाने कब शुरू होती है यारी, कब चढ़ जाता है लिखने का शौक़ और कब बन जाती है ये आदत कुछ पता ही तो नहीं चलता| एक नशा सा होता है और बस हम रह नहीं पाते| कितना अच्छा लगता है ना चन्द मिलते जुलते शब्दों से एक कविता बना देना| दिल को यूँ लगता है के बस आसमान छू लिया| धीरे धीरे प्यार और बढ़ता ही तो जाता है| वक़्त के साथ जवान होता है हमारा लेखन| कभी दर्द लिखना कभी प्यार लिखना,पर लिखना बार बार लिखना,होता ही तो रहता है|

हाँ, थोड़े अलग से होते हैं बाकी दुनिया से,कभी शांत तो कभी पूरे पागल| अक्सर सुना है कहते हुए सबको ,ये लेखक समझ में नहीं आते, कैसे आएँ दूसरों की समझ में हम खुद को भी समझ नहीं आते. जुलाहे से बुनते रहते हैं यादों की डोर से शब्दों का जाल. कभी पूरा बुनते हैं और कभी अधूरा छोड़ देते हैं| कुछ दिल मैं दर्ज़ नामों को पन्नों की सुरक्षित आलमरी में बंद कर देते हैं| कहते हैं, कोई लिखने वाला आपसे प्यार करे तो आप मरते नही हमेशा ज़िंदा होते हैं किसी किताब के पन्ने में या कभी पूरी किताब में| अपनी मोहब्बत की खूबसूरती का इज़हार करना कोई हमसे सीखे| रातें गुज़ार देते हैं उस एक चेहरे को शब्दों के रंगों से बनाते हुए एक कलाकार की तरह|
अपने दर्द हम बस अपनी डायरी के साथ बाँटते हैं, हमारी अपनी डायरी| जब आँखें रोती है तब क़लम रोती है| डायरी के पीले पन्नों में आँसुओं से मिटे हुए कुछ शब्द गवाह होते हैं हमारे दर्द के,हम दर्द में ज़्यादा जो लिखते हैं| अक्सर सड़क पे पड़े किसी ग़रीब का दर्द लिखते वक़्त आँसू निकल पड़ते हैं,हम दिल से लिखते हैं ना| सब समेटना चाहते हैं अपनी छोटी सी दुनिया में,प्यार,खूबसूरती,प्रकृति,दिल,दर्द और ना जाने क्या क्या|.
छोटी सी डायरी के भीतर भावनाओं और शब्दों की एक बड़ी दुनिया में जीते हैं| हाँ हम लिखते हैं|

हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..
कुछ अधूरी साँसें कुछ अधूरी आरज़ू..
कुछ अटखेलियाँ आँखों की उनके..
चुनते हैं जीवन वृक्ष से यादों के तिनके..
आँसू मिलाकर कभी स्याही बनाते हैं..
फिर हंसकर सब कुछ तो लिख जाते हैं..
जिनकी रूह ज़ज़्बातों की जिस्म अल्फाज़ों का..
एक शहर है काग़ज़ पर ऐसे इंसानो का..
बहा देते हैं सब ना कुछ करते काबू..
हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..

©सार्थक सागर

Look up and stay strong

            Life is worst when you make yourself your enemy.

Jharkhand ki Rajdhani Ranchi mein aapka swagat hai (welcome to Ranchi-Jharkhand’s capital), this board confirmed that I reached Ranchi. The city where I was going to live for the next two years to complete my higher secondary schooling. The city which was holding surprises for me in packets.

I got 9.6 CGPA in my 10^th boards and hence I got admission in D.P.S Ranchi one of the most prestigious schools of the city. I started living at my aunt’s home. Few months passed in exploring the city as well as in searching coaching classes. New city, new friends, more fun and least study, output was 60% marks in the first semester. It was very disappointing, for the first time I scored less than 90%. Time passed like a bullet and again in the second semester, I somehow managed to get 62%. I felt like cheating my parents but I don’t know why I was not able to study.

I was in class 12^th now. I never knew it was going to be worse than 11^th. Some guy spread a rumor about me and people started looking me as a culprit in my class, as a result, I started going to school very less. Now neither I studied at home nor did I go to school. Life gave me one more shock in the form of death of my cousin brother. He died in an accident in Kolkata. He was the son of my aunt, the same aunt with whom I was living. There was sadness everywhere, a sadness of death. My cousin died but sadness never.

I was depressed, I felt a heavy burden on me, the burden of breaking my parent’s trust by not studying, the grief of my cousin’s death, I felt as if I am responsible for everything. Month’s passed, it was January and I haven’t started studying anything yet. So I decided not to give 12^th board exams. I started running from me.

One evening I got a call from my class teacher, next morning I went to meet him. I thought he will scold me for not coming to school but the scene was different, he asked me very softly why I was absent. I told him all the story and left with tears. Again in evening he called me up and we met again not in school but on a peaceful hill. He was caring like a father. He told me about life, how to face problems but he was not able to convince me to give board exams, the only thing which I agreed was to give practical exams for he promised me to support at every point during that. I gave practical exams. Later after practical exams got over he told me a line “even if you don’t appear for boards you are going to fail so why don’t you face it and get experience. Sometimes failure teaches you more than your success”. With those words I don’t know how he injected positivism in me. I started studying and appeared for exams.

Finally the results were out. I opened the website with a little hope of passing. I was surprised to see pass written on the page, I rechecked but it was same, I passed my 12^th with 76%. It was something more than my expectation

Even today when I remember that year I think how a person can change the entire negativity into positive by a little care and few words. I will always be thankful to him for he made me look forward with a #hope for future.

दास्तान-ए-इश्क़

यूँ क्यों हुआ के वे मुक़द्दर में चले आए..
फिर छोड़ चले और हम कब्र में चले आए..
कुछ धड़कनें छोड़ आया हूँ डायरी के भीतर..
किसी को कहना उन्हें मेरी डायरी दे आए..
आख़िरी वक़्त तक साथ देने का वादा था उनका..
वादा टूटने ना दिया ,हम खुद ही को मिटा आए..
कितना मुश्क़िल वक़्त था हमारे जुदा होने का..
 ना अश्क मेरे रुके, ना उनके होठ मुस्कुराए..
बहती गंगा सी अंतहीन है इश्क़ की दास्तान..
कोई कितना लिखे कोई कितना सुनाए..

©सार्थक सागर

मुलाक़ात

मिलना है तो मिला करो मुसाफिरों की तरह..
दिल में रहने वाले अक्सर "मिल" नहीं पाते..

© सार्थक सागर 

Finding Optimism- Together

“Breakup” a stage in life which breaks everything within you, disturbs your mind, breaks your heart, and splits your soul. Lucky are those who never face this situation but as all of us know the percentage of those lucky persons is very less. After a long relationship, the heart-rending day of breakup kissed my life.

It was October 2014 and I was back to college after my Dussehra (a Hindu festival) holidays. This was the month when life started kicking me. The first day after vacations greeted me with a complaint, I was accused of ragging my juniors. The complaint was made before vacations and the action was taken soon after. On the very first day, I got my suspension letter. I will not say that it broke me up but yes I was disturbed a bit. This was followed by a series of verifications, trials which started irritating me and made me angry. I started talking to my love for diverting my mind but it made the situation worse, I ended up fighting. It is rightly said don’t talk too much in anger. The arguments continued, a series of old stories came out from a grave, which finally took my relationship to deathbed. Now, this was the time when I finally broke down.

The whole day I kept on lying on my bed, the only thing which I did was remembering her, thinking how I will face her in college, how will I live without her. I wept, wept for hours, changed the side of the pillow when it got wet and wept. Yes, men cry too, they too have heart and emotions. One good thing happened in between, I was not found guilty of ragging but this happened when I wanted to get punished. I was not willing to go to college and face her.

Days passed, in Diwali when there was light everywhere it was dark inside me, the crackers of silence were burning in me. So passed my birthday, without any celebrations, there was nothing to celebrate. I started living a melancholic life.

Sometimes a phone call can bring a smile on your face. It brought a smile on mine too, the news was my best friend has planned something special for me. She told she was coming to Ranchi in last December and forced me to be there. Saying no to her is as dangerous as going into lion’s den.

The day finally came, I was in Ranchi and the next day I was going to meet my best buddy after 3 years. Next morning when I woke up, I saw a chit lying beside me saying “See you in an hour buddy”. Who waits for an hour, she was there within half an hour. I just had my tea and we left. There was a twist, I was blindfolded. I didn’t know where she was taking me. After about 30 minutes’ drive we got down and finally, she opened my eyes. I couldn’t believe myself, there was a small tent in a forest with a lake beside it and the beauty was breathtaking. She had brought coffee for us. We sat beside the lake, had a cup of coffee and started talking. She was cracking lame jokes but somehow they made me laugh. Suddenly she asked me to narrate the story of my breakup and I did. I broke off, tears rolled down again, but this time there was the best pillow, her shoulder. I wept and she allowed me too. I felt relaxed. She didn’t console me but said “I am your girlfriend” do you need anyone else? The words made me somewhat happy, I don’t know exactly what I felt buy yes it was a “Positive feeling”. She told me to narrate my poems and listened will heart. She even suggested me to start a blog (later I did). In afternoon we left for lunch. After lunch, we again came back to the place and went inside the tent. A few minutes later I heard some music being played. I came out and saw that a tribal man was playing Ektara. I sat beside him and listened to the music. I started talking to him, although he had nothing, he seemed to be the happiest person in this world. He told me that Ektara is like his friend and hence he never feels alone. Although he was illiterate, he taught me the best lesson “Make your hobby your friend”. He went back in evening and so do we. We went for a movie and dinner afterwards.

I came home with handful memories, a hope to get my love back and a lot of positivity. The positivity which was lost somewhere was finally found. I found her in a forest with my best friend and the Ektara player “Breakup” a stage in life which breaks everything within you, disturbs your mind, breaks your heart, and splits your soul. Lucky are those who never face this situation but as all of us know the percentage of those lucky persons is very less. After a long relationship, the heart-rending day of breakup kissed my life.

It was October 2014 and I was back to college after my Dussehra (a Hindu festival) holidays. This was the month when life started kicking me. The first day after vacations greeted me with a complaint, I was accused of ragging my juniors. The complaint was made before vacations and the action was taken soon after. On the very first day, I got my suspension letter. I will not say that it broke me up but yes I was disturbed a bit. This was followed by a series of verifications, trials which started irritating me and made me angry. I started talking to my love for diverting my mind but it made the situation worse, I ended up fighting. It is rightly said don’t talk too much in anger. The arguments continued, a series of old stories came out from the grave, which finally took my relationship to deathbed. Now, this was the time when I finally broke down.

The whole day I kept on lying on my bed, the only thing which I did was remembering her, thinking how I will face her in college, how will I live without her. I wept, wept for hours, changed the side of the pillow when it got wet and wept. Yes, men cry too, they too have heart and emotions. One good thing happened in between, I was not found guilty of ragging but this happened when I wanted to get punished. I was not willing to go to college and face her.

Days passed, in Diwali when there was light everywhere it was dark inside me, the crackers of silence were burning in me. So passed my birthday, without any celebrations, there was nothing to celebrate. I started living a melancholic life.

Sometimes a phone call can bring a smile on your face. It brought a smile on mine too, the news was my best friend has planned something special for me. She told she was coming to Ranchi in last December and forced me to be there. Saying no to her is as dangerous as going into lion’s den.

The day finally came, I was in Ranchi and the next day I was going to meet my best buddy after 3 years. Next morning when I woke up, I saw a chit lying beside me saying “See you in an hour buddy”. Who waits for an hour, she was there within half an hour. I just had my tea and we left. There was a twist, I was blindfolded. I didn’t know where she was taking me. After about 30 minutes’ drive we got down and finally, she opened my eyes. I couldn’t believe myself, there was a small tent in the forest with a lake beside it and the beauty was breathtaking. She had brought coffee for us. We sat beside the lake, had a cup of coffee and started talking. She was cracking lame jokes but somehow they made me laugh. Suddenly she asked me to narrate the story of my breakup and I did. I broke off, tears rolled down again, but this time there was the best pillow, her shoulder. I wept and she allowed me too. I felt relaxed. She didn’t console me but said “I am your girlfriend” do you need anyone else? The words made me somewhat happy, I don’t know exactly what I felt buy yes it was a “Positive feeling”. She told me to narrate my poems and listened will heart. She even suggested me to start a blog (later I did). In afternoon we left for lunch. After lunch, we again came back to the place and went inside the tent. A few minutes later I heard some music being played. I came out and saw that a tribal man was playing Ektara. I sat beside him and listened to the music. I started talking to him, although he had nothing, he seemed to be the happiest person in this world. He told me that Ektara is like his friend and hence he never feels alone. Although he was illiterate, he taught me the best lesson “Make your hobby your friend”. He went back in evening and so do we. We went for a movie and dinner afterwards.

I came home with handful memories, a hope to get my love back and a lot of positivity. The positivity which was lost somewhere was finally found. I found her in a forest with my best friend and the Ektara player #Together

Start a new life - Control Anger

      You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. -Lord Buddha

Yes, I do realise that anger is my biggest enemy but very late. So late that I was left with no one in my life, I lost my friends, my relatives, and most important my love. The world seems so beautiful when you are in love and that too when it is your first love but how empty the world becomes when you lose her just because of your silly anger only people who went through it can explain. 

      

   I was the one who filled love in her and I was the one who showed her what hatred is. Yes, it looks contradictory but it is true. During starting phase of our relationship everything was fine but after a few months the Anger demon came out from me. I started scolding her on each and everything. Even for silly mistakes, most of the times without reason, sometimes for her health problems I scolded her.

She used to listen to everything silently, sometimes tears rolled down from her big beautiful eyes but in vain, tears were of no use, they made me angrier. She tried her best to please me, love me more and more but everything went in vain.

  

  It was a date(never thought that it will be our last date ). She called me up in the evening and asked if I want to go to Starbucks for a coffee. I said okay we will go. That evening I had a harsh discussion with one of my friends( of course it was me who was wrong) and I was not in a very good mood. Even though I went. She dressed up for me and was looking pretty but I did not say a word. I was silent for long, so she asked what happened and as usual, I started scolding her. Somehow she managed to finish her coffee mixed with my scoldings. We left for her home and situation started getting worse.

Here I did my biggest mistake, out of anger I abused her. She couldn't control herself and broke off, even after that I kept shouting at her. At last, I said something which she was not able to digest. She ran away to her flat. I also came back to my flat and went to sleep.

Next morning I woke up and thought I will say sorry to her, but something else was there in my fate.

I had a Whatsapp text from her saying "I WANT TO BREAK UP". She was not able to tolerate my anger anymore and she left me. You only realise the value of a person once you lose her. I begged I cried, I wanted her so badly in my life that I decided not to live without her. I decided to end my life.

I left taking food and water and started taking 10 paracetamol tablets daily. When my roommates came to know about it they took me to the hospital and saved my life.

After that the worst thing happened, I went to depression. I stayed away from everyone, completely alone. I started smoking. One of my professors took me to the psychologist but nothing worked out.

In December 2014, I went home and my cousins planned a trekking trip. I went just in order to get some peace of mind. Being with my cousins and travelling filled some positive energy to me.I returned to Chennai in January with a resolution "I can control anger and for sure I will do it"

I started reading more and more, joined a gym(used all my anger while doing the workout) and most important I started writing again(writing poems gave a lot of relief). I kept myself busy all the time and hence there was no room for anger. I cannot say that I have controlled it completely but yes I have brought it to a minimum level.

I have started a new life now it's your turn. Find your biggest enemy which lives somewhere inside you. Just throw it out and #Startanewlife.

कुछ नज़्म दफ़्न हैं

कुछ नज़्म दफ़्न हैं मेरे, तुम्हारे पर्स के अंदर..

फटे मुड़े किन्हीं काग़ज़ के पन्नों में..

ना जाने आख़िरी साँस कब ली थी..

ना जाने कब आख़िरी बार पढ़े गए..

शायद दर्द से चीख़े होंगे दफनाते वक़्त..

ज़िंदा दफ़्न होने में दर्द तो होता है ना..

कुछ यूँ ही दफ्न हुआ था मैं भी तेरे भीतर..

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