हाँ हम लिखते हैं |

हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..
कुछ अधूरी साँसें कुछ अधूरी आरज़ू..
कुछ अटखेलियाँ आँखों की उनके..
चुनते हैं जीवन वृक्ष से यादों के तिनके..
आँसू मिलाकर कभी स्याही बनाते हैं..
फिर हंसकर सब कुछ तो लिख जाते हैं..
जिनकी रूह ज़ज़्बातों की जिस्म अल्फाज़ों का..
एक शहर है काग़ज़ पर ऐसे इंसानो का..
बहा देते हैं सब ना कुछ करते काबू..
हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..

©सार्थक सागर

हाँ हम लिखते हैं|

लोग कहते हैं के हम “लिखते हैं”| हमें शायर, कवि, लेखक और ना जाने क्या क्या नाम दे डालें हैं लोगों ने| अलग कर दिया है नाम की दीवारों से. लेकिन हम एक ही तो हैं, सरफिरे से, थोड़े पागल,शब्दों के दोस्त,काग़ज़ के यार|
ना जाने कब शुरू होती है यारी, कब चढ़ जाता है लिखने का शौक़ और कब बन जाती है ये आदत कुछ पता ही तो नहीं चलता| एक नशा सा होता है और बस हम रह नहीं पाते| कितना अच्छा लगता है ना चन्द मिलते जुलते शब्दों से एक कविता बना देना| दिल को यूँ लगता है के बस आसमान छू लिया| धीरे धीरे प्यार और बढ़ता ही तो जाता है| वक़्त के साथ जवान होता है हमारा लेखन| कभी दर्द लिखना कभी प्यार लिखना,पर लिखना बार बार लिखना,होता ही तो रहता है|

हाँ, थोड़े अलग से होते हैं बाकी दुनिया से,कभी शांत तो कभी पूरे पागल| अक्सर सुना है कहते हुए सबको ,ये लेखक समझ में नहीं आते, कैसे आएँ दूसरों की समझ में हम खुद को भी समझ नहीं आते. जुलाहे से बुनते रहते हैं यादों की डोर से शब्दों का जाल. कभी पूरा बुनते हैं और कभी अधूरा छोड़ देते हैं| कुछ दिल मैं दर्ज़ नामों को पन्नों की सुरक्षित आलमरी में बंद कर देते हैं| कहते हैं, कोई लिखने वाला आपसे प्यार करे तो आप मरते नही हमेशा ज़िंदा होते हैं किसी किताब के पन्ने में या कभी पूरी किताब में| अपनी मोहब्बत की खूबसूरती का इज़हार करना कोई हमसे सीखे| रातें गुज़ार देते हैं उस एक चेहरे को शब्दों के रंगों से बनाते हुए एक कलाकार की तरह|
अपने दर्द हम बस अपनी डायरी के साथ बाँटते हैं, हमारी अपनी डायरी| जब आँखें रोती है तब क़लम रोती है| डायरी के पीले पन्नों में आँसुओं से मिटे हुए कुछ शब्द गवाह होते हैं हमारे दर्द के,हम दर्द में ज़्यादा जो लिखते हैं| अक्सर सड़क पे पड़े किसी ग़रीब का दर्द लिखते वक़्त आँसू निकल पड़ते हैं,हम दिल से लिखते हैं ना| सब समेटना चाहते हैं अपनी छोटी सी दुनिया में,प्यार,खूबसूरती,प्रकृति,दिल,दर्द और ना जाने क्या क्या|.
छोटी सी डायरी के भीतर भावनाओं और शब्दों की एक बड़ी दुनिया में जीते हैं| हाँ हम लिखते हैं|

हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..
कुछ अधूरी साँसें कुछ अधूरी आरज़ू..
कुछ अटखेलियाँ आँखों की उनके..
चुनते हैं जीवन वृक्ष से यादों के तिनके..
आँसू मिलाकर कभी स्याही बनाते हैं..
फिर हंसकर सब कुछ तो लिख जाते हैं..
जिनकी रूह ज़ज़्बातों की जिस्म अल्फाज़ों का..
एक शहर है काग़ज़ पर ऐसे इंसानो का..
बहा देते हैं सब ना कुछ करते काबू..
हाँ हम लिखते हैं दिल का हर पहलू..

©सार्थक सागर

Look up and stay strong

            Life is worst when you make yourself your enemy.

Jharkhand ki Rajdhani Ranchi mein aapka swagat hai (welcome to Ranchi-Jharkhand’s capital), this board confirmed that I reached Ranchi. The city where I was going to live for the next two years to complete my higher secondary schooling. The city which was holding surprises for me in packets.

I got 9.6 CGPA in my 10^th boards and hence I got admission in D.P.S Ranchi one of the most prestigious schools of the city. I started living at my aunt’s home. Few months passed in exploring the city as well as in searching coaching classes. New city, new friends, more fun and least study, output was 60% marks in the first semester. It was very disappointing, for the first time I scored less than 90%. Time passed like a bullet and again in the second semester, I somehow managed to get 62%. I felt like cheating my parents but I don’t know why I was not able to study.

I was in class 12^th now. I never knew it was going to be worse than 11^th. Some guy spread a rumor about me and people started looking me as a culprit in my class, as a result, I started going to school very less. Now neither I studied at home nor did I go to school. Life gave me one more shock in the form of death of my cousin brother. He died in an accident in Kolkata. He was the son of my aunt, the same aunt with whom I was living. There was sadness everywhere, a sadness of death. My cousin died but sadness never.

I was depressed, I felt a heavy burden on me, the burden of breaking my parent’s trust by not studying, the grief of my cousin’s death, I felt as if I am responsible for everything. Month’s passed, it was January and I haven’t started studying anything yet. So I decided not to give 12^th board exams. I started running from me.

One evening I got a call from my class teacher, next morning I went to meet him. I thought he will scold me for not coming to school but the scene was different, he asked me very softly why I was absent. I told him all the story and left with tears. Again in evening he called me up and we met again not in school but on a peaceful hill. He was caring like a father. He told me about life, how to face problems but he was not able to convince me to give board exams, the only thing which I agreed was to give practical exams for he promised me to support at every point during that. I gave practical exams. Later after practical exams got over he told me a line “even if you don’t appear for boards you are going to fail so why don’t you face it and get experience. Sometimes failure teaches you more than your success”. With those words I don’t know how he injected positivism in me. I started studying and appeared for exams.

Finally the results were out. I opened the website with a little hope of passing. I was surprised to see pass written on the page, I rechecked but it was same, I passed my 12^th with 76%. It was something more than my expectation

Even today when I remember that year I think how a person can change the entire negativity into positive by a little care and few words. I will always be thankful to him for he made me look forward with a #hope for future.

दास्तान-ए-इश्क़

यूँ क्यों हुआ के वे मुक़द्दर में चले आए..
फिर छोड़ चले और हम कब्र में चले आए..
कुछ धड़कनें छोड़ आया हूँ डायरी के भीतर..
किसी को कहना उन्हें मेरी डायरी दे आए..
आख़िरी वक़्त तक साथ देने का वादा था उनका..
वादा टूटने ना दिया ,हम खुद ही को मिटा आए..
कितना मुश्क़िल वक़्त था हमारे जुदा होने का..
 ना अश्क मेरे रुके, ना उनके होठ मुस्कुराए..
बहती गंगा सी अंतहीन है इश्क़ की दास्तान..
कोई कितना लिखे कोई कितना सुनाए..

©सार्थक सागर

मुलाक़ात

मिलना है तो मिला करो मुसाफिरों की तरह..
दिल में रहने वाले अक्सर "मिल" नहीं पाते..

© सार्थक सागर 

Finding Optimism- Together

“Breakup” a stage in life which breaks everything within you, disturbs your mind, breaks your heart, and splits your soul. Lucky are those who never face this situation but as all of us know the percentage of those lucky persons is very less. After a long relationship, the heart-rending day of breakup kissed my life.

It was October 2014 and I was back to college after my Dussehra (a Hindu festival) holidays. This was the month when life started kicking me. The first day after vacations greeted me with a complaint, I was accused of ragging my juniors. The complaint was made before vacations and the action was taken soon after. On the very first day, I got my suspension letter. I will not say that it broke me up but yes I was disturbed a bit. This was followed by a series of verifications, trials which started irritating me and made me angry. I started talking to my love for diverting my mind but it made the situation worse, I ended up fighting. It is rightly said don’t talk too much in anger. The arguments continued, a series of old stories came out from a grave, which finally took my relationship to deathbed. Now, this was the time when I finally broke down.

The whole day I kept on lying on my bed, the only thing which I did was remembering her, thinking how I will face her in college, how will I live without her. I wept, wept for hours, changed the side of the pillow when it got wet and wept. Yes, men cry too, they too have heart and emotions. One good thing happened in between, I was not found guilty of ragging but this happened when I wanted to get punished. I was not willing to go to college and face her.

Days passed, in Diwali when there was light everywhere it was dark inside me, the crackers of silence were burning in me. So passed my birthday, without any celebrations, there was nothing to celebrate. I started living a melancholic life.

Sometimes a phone call can bring a smile on your face. It brought a smile on mine too, the news was my best friend has planned something special for me. She told she was coming to Ranchi in last December and forced me to be there. Saying no to her is as dangerous as going into lion’s den.

The day finally came, I was in Ranchi and the next day I was going to meet my best buddy after 3 years. Next morning when I woke up, I saw a chit lying beside me saying “See you in an hour buddy”. Who waits for an hour, she was there within half an hour. I just had my tea and we left. There was a twist, I was blindfolded. I didn’t know where she was taking me. After about 30 minutes’ drive we got down and finally, she opened my eyes. I couldn’t believe myself, there was a small tent in a forest with a lake beside it and the beauty was breathtaking. She had brought coffee for us. We sat beside the lake, had a cup of coffee and started talking. She was cracking lame jokes but somehow they made me laugh. Suddenly she asked me to narrate the story of my breakup and I did. I broke off, tears rolled down again, but this time there was the best pillow, her shoulder. I wept and she allowed me too. I felt relaxed. She didn’t console me but said “I am your girlfriend” do you need anyone else? The words made me somewhat happy, I don’t know exactly what I felt buy yes it was a “Positive feeling”. She told me to narrate my poems and listened will heart. She even suggested me to start a blog (later I did). In afternoon we left for lunch. After lunch, we again came back to the place and went inside the tent. A few minutes later I heard some music being played. I came out and saw that a tribal man was playing Ektara. I sat beside him and listened to the music. I started talking to him, although he had nothing, he seemed to be the happiest person in this world. He told me that Ektara is like his friend and hence he never feels alone. Although he was illiterate, he taught me the best lesson “Make your hobby your friend”. He went back in evening and so do we. We went for a movie and dinner afterwards.

I came home with handful memories, a hope to get my love back and a lot of positivity. The positivity which was lost somewhere was finally found. I found her in a forest with my best friend and the Ektara player “Breakup” a stage in life which breaks everything within you, disturbs your mind, breaks your heart, and splits your soul. Lucky are those who never face this situation but as all of us know the percentage of those lucky persons is very less. After a long relationship, the heart-rending day of breakup kissed my life.

It was October 2014 and I was back to college after my Dussehra (a Hindu festival) holidays. This was the month when life started kicking me. The first day after vacations greeted me with a complaint, I was accused of ragging my juniors. The complaint was made before vacations and the action was taken soon after. On the very first day, I got my suspension letter. I will not say that it broke me up but yes I was disturbed a bit. This was followed by a series of verifications, trials which started irritating me and made me angry. I started talking to my love for diverting my mind but it made the situation worse, I ended up fighting. It is rightly said don’t talk too much in anger. The arguments continued, a series of old stories came out from the grave, which finally took my relationship to deathbed. Now, this was the time when I finally broke down.

The whole day I kept on lying on my bed, the only thing which I did was remembering her, thinking how I will face her in college, how will I live without her. I wept, wept for hours, changed the side of the pillow when it got wet and wept. Yes, men cry too, they too have heart and emotions. One good thing happened in between, I was not found guilty of ragging but this happened when I wanted to get punished. I was not willing to go to college and face her.

Days passed, in Diwali when there was light everywhere it was dark inside me, the crackers of silence were burning in me. So passed my birthday, without any celebrations, there was nothing to celebrate. I started living a melancholic life.

Sometimes a phone call can bring a smile on your face. It brought a smile on mine too, the news was my best friend has planned something special for me. She told she was coming to Ranchi in last December and forced me to be there. Saying no to her is as dangerous as going into lion’s den.

The day finally came, I was in Ranchi and the next day I was going to meet my best buddy after 3 years. Next morning when I woke up, I saw a chit lying beside me saying “See you in an hour buddy”. Who waits for an hour, she was there within half an hour. I just had my tea and we left. There was a twist, I was blindfolded. I didn’t know where she was taking me. After about 30 minutes’ drive we got down and finally, she opened my eyes. I couldn’t believe myself, there was a small tent in the forest with a lake beside it and the beauty was breathtaking. She had brought coffee for us. We sat beside the lake, had a cup of coffee and started talking. She was cracking lame jokes but somehow they made me laugh. Suddenly she asked me to narrate the story of my breakup and I did. I broke off, tears rolled down again, but this time there was the best pillow, her shoulder. I wept and she allowed me too. I felt relaxed. She didn’t console me but said “I am your girlfriend” do you need anyone else? The words made me somewhat happy, I don’t know exactly what I felt buy yes it was a “Positive feeling”. She told me to narrate my poems and listened will heart. She even suggested me to start a blog (later I did). In afternoon we left for lunch. After lunch, we again came back to the place and went inside the tent. A few minutes later I heard some music being played. I came out and saw that a tribal man was playing Ektara. I sat beside him and listened to the music. I started talking to him, although he had nothing, he seemed to be the happiest person in this world. He told me that Ektara is like his friend and hence he never feels alone. Although he was illiterate, he taught me the best lesson “Make your hobby your friend”. He went back in evening and so do we. We went for a movie and dinner afterwards.

I came home with handful memories, a hope to get my love back and a lot of positivity. The positivity which was lost somewhere was finally found. I found her in a forest with my best friend and the Ektara player #Together

Start a new life - Control Anger

      You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger. -Lord Buddha

Yes, I do realise that anger is my biggest enemy but very late. So late that I was left with no one in my life, I lost my friends, my relatives, and most important my love. The world seems so beautiful when you are in love and that too when it is your first love but how empty the world becomes when you lose her just because of your silly anger only people who went through it can explain. 

      

   I was the one who filled love in her and I was the one who showed her what hatred is. Yes, it looks contradictory but it is true. During starting phase of our relationship everything was fine but after a few months the Anger demon came out from me. I started scolding her on each and everything. Even for silly mistakes, most of the times without reason, sometimes for her health problems I scolded her.

She used to listen to everything silently, sometimes tears rolled down from her big beautiful eyes but in vain, tears were of no use, they made me angrier. She tried her best to please me, love me more and more but everything went in vain.

  

  It was a date(never thought that it will be our last date ). She called me up in the evening and asked if I want to go to Starbucks for a coffee. I said okay we will go. That evening I had a harsh discussion with one of my friends( of course it was me who was wrong) and I was not in a very good mood. Even though I went. She dressed up for me and was looking pretty but I did not say a word. I was silent for long, so she asked what happened and as usual, I started scolding her. Somehow she managed to finish her coffee mixed with my scoldings. We left for her home and situation started getting worse.

Here I did my biggest mistake, out of anger I abused her. She couldn't control herself and broke off, even after that I kept shouting at her. At last, I said something which she was not able to digest. She ran away to her flat. I also came back to my flat and went to sleep.

Next morning I woke up and thought I will say sorry to her, but something else was there in my fate.

I had a Whatsapp text from her saying "I WANT TO BREAK UP". She was not able to tolerate my anger anymore and she left me. You only realise the value of a person once you lose her. I begged I cried, I wanted her so badly in my life that I decided not to live without her. I decided to end my life.

I left taking food and water and started taking 10 paracetamol tablets daily. When my roommates came to know about it they took me to the hospital and saved my life.

After that the worst thing happened, I went to depression. I stayed away from everyone, completely alone. I started smoking. One of my professors took me to the psychologist but nothing worked out.

In December 2014, I went home and my cousins planned a trekking trip. I went just in order to get some peace of mind. Being with my cousins and travelling filled some positive energy to me.I returned to Chennai in January with a resolution "I can control anger and for sure I will do it"

I started reading more and more, joined a gym(used all my anger while doing the workout) and most important I started writing again(writing poems gave a lot of relief). I kept myself busy all the time and hence there was no room for anger. I cannot say that I have controlled it completely but yes I have brought it to a minimum level.

I have started a new life now it's your turn. Find your biggest enemy which lives somewhere inside you. Just throw it out and #Startanewlife.